I need some Aloe

Ok. It is time I just go ahead and admit it. I am so burnt out on my desk job that my soul had better get some freakin aloe soon or I may just lose it.

I don't know why I even continue to put myself through this.

Let me break it down for you. This is me--> Top sales in my company. Shows up every day and never calls off.  The irony is, the better I do at my job, the more disappointment I am setting myself up for.

My company and my employees know I'm a yes type of girl. And they take advantage of me for it.

Why am I still here? I get paid less then even the newest of new employees here. That's after 5 raises. I make barely over minimum wage in a job that requires constant training, specific dress codes and ediquate, and basically the ability to pretend I'm a high class hoity toity snob when I'm not. This used to be fun for me. I'd pretend to be one of them and it was funny for me to see how much they all bought my acting even though in real life I'm a totally bohemian free spirit. I would show up in my suits using my most proper lingo and I felt like I got the royal treatment. But the more I played this lame game, the less I got for it. I am slowly realizing I am better than this. At least I have gained more character. But I've also gained fear that I will never make it.

When I see the new employess hired on acting as I did when I was new, it makes me sick to my stomach. They have no idea how big of rookies they are. But that's besides the point. They will be broken down just like I have been. And the whole idea of it makes me mad. But they are higher paid then me. So when they complain about a sale they didn't get or whatever I start to feel bitter. I do all their dirty work and they are less qualified than I am. Life is not fair in a corporate, government, and media controlled society.

I have to continue to act the hoity toity charade of the job world 40 hours a week to get paid, it makes me even more sick.

But I need the money.

I've got to get out.

Somehow.

Some way.

Ps. I apologize that I haven't written in a long time. It's been hectic to say the least. I have no breaks between my job and my music career. It's gotten to the point that  I need to start scheduling time in to have full days with my fiancé. It's been months since just me and him have spent a day together. It's really sad. I want to plan our wedding.

I need a break from work.

I can't take a break from music. It is my stress relief. It is my passion. It is what I plan on doing for the rest of my life.

I don't know what I need to do.

But I will get out of this job some day some how.

Sincerely, The working class American.

Oh wait! I mean...

Sincerely,

The Girl With Sparkles In Her Eyes

(or are they tears)