Someone's Got a Case of the Mondays

Today is 5/14 and I apologize for not posting for a few days. This is post number 7.

Has anyone out there missed me? Apparently my coworkers have. And that brings me to today's topic, overbearing coworkers.

I just miss the days when I could  come into the office and start drinking my coffee before anyone would even think about cornering me with conversations about how interesting they think their lives are. If only I could fill that first cup of joe and have one drink before someone started jibber jabbering to me about their friends, family, or customers. I hate to tell you but before I have woken up, I could care less, and do not even have to ability to listen. I'm just doing good to have made it out of bed with matching shoes and makeup on and made it into work every morning for five years.  If only I could prepare a nice glass of THC coffee (aka a nice tall glass of chill the feck out) for them. That would really do the trick! I mean miss those days (not the days of THC coffee at work, that never happened. But days of easing into the speeds of the workplace). Do people not realize it's 9am?! It's a cruel cruel world we live in. Some advice for you morning people: Just because you do not need to drink coffee to get energized does not mean that others can be so awake without it. Some of us only dream of that luxury and have tried our whole lifes to be morning  people. We just aren't! This is what that first cup is for us:

:'( Don't take our tranquility away from us. :'(

 

The way it used to be here in the office is that we would chat between calls and such but we were all kind of easy going and relaxed. In the quietness I found that it actually  made us better listeners. Those days have passed as my workplace has gradually became more and more of a corporation.

The new employees here are all about impressing people with their incessant bragging and trying to act cool. To those of us who take the time to be still and listen, they sound like complete and utter dork-o's.

For example, this is how things are going today:

I have not had even one drink of my coffee yet (yes I am on a rant about this coffee issue), and I've already had two people talk my head off telling me "Oh you're here early! Yap yap yap yap!" "How are you! Yap yap yap yap yap!" And "guess what my brother did last night! You're not going to believe it! Yap yap yap yap yap yap!" Now it's not that I don't like talking, in fact I'm a pretty social person. It's just really overbearing. In fact, I mentioned to one of them that I was here at work early today trying to get caught up on work from yesterday because I was stuck on the phone dealing with the disorganization of my finances by the student debt center. Needless to say, I might be a little sleepy. In fact we have only been open about 20 minutes now and my two new employess are on like story number 5. With some people it's all about them. These are those people.

Now don't fret. If you are like me and these people send shooting pains through your soul first thing in the morning, I feel for you and I want you to know that you are not alone.

In fact, when my coworkers finally realize that no one is talking to them or taking part and get sick of talking to each other, they start making personal calls all damn day long. Why can some people just stop talking for 5 minutes! Between them and the annoying overplayed Taylor swift songs on the radio here, it's no wonder I'm blogging right now. Time to clear my head and embrace the day!

Now if you are one of those chipper morning people who like to gossip non stop in the mornings, you may think I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed and being crabby. No! That is not the case! I'm totally ok with morning people. But you all are a whole new species of weird. You are the spawn of satan!

Here is the honest truth <places hand on bible>: Just because no one has said anything to you about it, doesn't mean you aren't bothering anyone. People like me who blog instead of saying something to you are just being nice and following work place adequate. Despite how much your incessant need to hear your own voice bothers us, we are trying not to hurt your feelings and make for a hostile work environment by telling you to shut up! Trust me. You are very annoying. And I'm willing to bet that you are getting on the nerves of more than just one person. Is it not too much to ask to walk to the printer without being told your whole life story at 9am?

If you can handle it, your best bet is to wait about an hour after the place opens to start squawking that way everyone will have had time to wake up before you force it upon them so abruptly. Trust me. It will make office friendships for you that may last a lifetime! This is the kind of relationship I have with my coworkers who have worked with me here for a few years before the place started growing. We treat each other like equal human beings. Not like we need to impress each other with all of our stories and things that we know. Those things come over time and you do not have to force them on people.

So there's my spiel, I had to get that off my chest. Emotional breast reduction completed. I hope you enjoyed reading. Stay sparkley!

 Sincerely,

The Girl With Sparkles In Her Eyes