Sometimes you have to be a bitch for you!

Say you have a friend or family member and they are making a huge mistake that could ruin everything! They are about to lose their home, their family, their mind.... What do you do? Keep your nose out of their business, or lend them a hand?

This is a tough subject, so I'm going to tread lightly. But here's where I stand. Now generally I like to keep my nose out of other peoples business and stay drama free! But sometimes you have to address these issues in order to escape getting caught up in their world. It sucks that there are people out here that do so! But that's just life! And life is what we make it! So let's get through this!

Here's how to do so and keep your cool.

The chances are that they either do not want your help or are just too ashamed to ask you for it. They may not have even come to terms with the fact that they have a problem. I get this. But... get over it. You've got this! You may not feel like you have a backbone yet, but I will help you every step of the way! And the even more harsh truth is that you can not help someone who does not want help. But we still have to try. We owe that to ourselves and we owe that to them. But it often ends up in arguments or hitting dead ends.

This is where most people stop and, not realizing what they are doing, subconsciously give up.

Well first off, do you care about this person? And are you are 100% or more sure that they are doing something irreparable that needs to be stopped?

If you answered yes to both of these questions, you absolutely should confront them. 

Second, they are in a bad spiral correct? How good of a friend/ family member are you? If you are close with them, you may be the only one who can help them rethink what they are doing wrong. They may be on drugs, they may have a gambling problem, maybe they are trying to get pregnant at 12...I don't know your loved one's situation. But if they are about to ruin their lives, one little bump in the road of them being mad at you for giving them advice is the least of their problems. And you care about them, so I say, for the love of good karma, risk it!

Third, people with these issues are more than likely going to get mad. You can just go ahead and expect that. You need to stand your ground if this happens and address to them that you are not in the mood to waste your time with arguing or changing the subject. Tell them that you realize they don't want to hear what you have to say and it's an easy coping mechanism to do so, but you are saying what you need to say and that's it. Do not argue back or allow yourself to get offended. After all, if we are giving advice and we want someone to follow it, we need them to realize that they are getting advice from a strong person and you might just be a good example. Of course, you might not want to tell them this, you don't want to look arrogant or as if you are all high and mighty.

Offer them some options. For instance, I recently offered to watch someone's kids for them for a few days if they wanted to check themselves in somewhere to get help for a problem. This proved that I meant well. They still didn't admit they had a problem. But I said what I needed to say to someone I love and I would not take it back for the world. They deserve that and so do I.

So my last point is that, Telling someone you love harsh criticism is not mean if you are truly coming from the heart. Just tread lightly and please, do the right thing. Our world needs more good people. So why not be one of them?!

The truth will set not only you free but may also set them free. When someone uses a crutch for too long, they forget to walk on their own two feet.  If they try and make you feel bad for this, stand your ground. If they are a true friend, they will be proud of you and want what's best for you. They may feel this way in secret and not tell you anything. In fact they may feel mad. It may take a lot of emotions to come out for them before they are able to really absorb what you have to say and self actualize it. But that's ok. Let them be mad! Let them be sad! Let them cope! But always say what you feel.

Actions, my friends speak louder than words.

The people you need to keep in your life are the ones who are supportive and do not hold you back. Deep down we all know this, right? It can be hard, but just do it and watch the good karma flow to you. Feel like a bitch doing it? So what, be a bitch. Stand your ground! You are worth every bit of it and there is nothing wrong with being an example to others. You can choose to lead or you can follow. We are all on the same path.

Let me repeat that:

You can choose to lead or you can choose to follow. We are all on the same path.